Decomposing In Public
Oh, here we go again—this feeling,
Disoriented,
Everything will crash around me soon.
Emotionally confused,
Completely disconnected,
Feeling too much yet being too numb:
Sensing everything becoming nothing.
What day is it?
Where am I?
What is this feeling?
(And how can I escape it?)
Stumbling around—
I know I look insane—
But I can’t help it.
I can’t control this fleshy container,
It just does whatever.
As I take one more step,
Everything melts beneath me,
Then around me.
Colours sliding off,
Spreading where they shouldn’t.
Vivid haziness,
As if falling into the Earth.
Completely disconnected from the world, even from myself:
A complete stranger.
Something, a nobody,
That barely exists.
Days are becoming months;
Time merges into Space;
Everyone is really no one.
Lonely.
Any second now…
Waiting for the Earth to turn me to mush.
To suck me back in.
Everyone would see,
No one would notice.
And as I slowly disappear,
I keep wondering why people
Are always there to see me fail
But so blind to me
Decomposing in public.
This story is part of a collection of poems, short stories and introspective reflections of my creation, called “Grimoire of a Weirdo”.