God I Wish that Were
Instant stomach pit—
A dark hole twisting
Everything inside and
Swallowing from within.
Looking at all of you, what you’ve done
What you’ve created; There’s such beauty
Miraculous sincerity and recognition—
And I want it all for myself.
Gnawing greed.
I wait to become you,
To be me but better,
For a me with you.
Dark pit twisting, swallowing.
To be allowed around you, both beautiful
And true: Equal. I am you, you are me.
What’s yours is mine, meaning
I made that. That’s all me.
Inescapable envy.
So—what is it that
I am waiting for?
Why aren’t you here?
Why am I not there with you?
Am I going? Will I ever finally be?
All this beauty, all this truth—Will I?
One thing is certain though; when my world
Falls apart, I’ll leave nothing behind.
Nothing for the rest of you.
Pure wrath.
This story is part of a collection of poems, short stories and introspective diary entries, called “Grimoire of a Weird Person II”.