How to Be Truthful to You?

Weekly Diary Entry #1

If all you do is reject me, the only foreseeable outcome is your misunderstanding.

What if I don’t want to because all you do is shut me down?

No more sharing with you.

When all you do is tell me to quit being a dreamer, do you realize?

Do you realize this would bring my demise?

When all you do is drill into me that my sadness is frivolous, that it could even be cured by the pursuit of happiness, do you realize this means?

That someone like me sees no truth in living such—and ultimately has no purpose?

When all you do is drill into me that it isn’t alright to be like me, do you realize that I’ve known all along?

Do you realize you’re making it worse?

Please don’t further my shame for I fear I won’t be able to leave home anymore.

Please don’t further this distance between us for I don’t think I’ll be able to talk to you anymore.

Please don’t further the self-hatred for I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive myself afterwards.

This story is part of a collection of poems, short stories and introspective diary entries, called “Grimoire of a Weirdo”.