Intertwined

Week Diary Entry #2

I wake up to what feels like my heart beating intensely in my

mouth, a strange sensation that fills my gums with warmth.

My eyelids feel unbearably tight as if sewn together, and my limbs have become unbearably heavy; panic clouds my mind due to the unfortunate state of incapacitation in which I currently find myself.

No! I can’t surrender to it— not yet. I manage to muster enough strength to separate myself from this hellhole by numbing myself to it all, then carefully opening my eyes to greyness and monotony. I no longer feel fear or warmth, only emptiness and melancholy.

Today is regrettably as always and, in the blink of an eye, already over, so I return home. As I blankly stare at the cold and grey around me, fatigue consumes me entirely and I fall into a deep slumber.

…

Heartbeat in mouth, warmth-filled gums, taste of blood.

Oddly enough, I have grown accustomed to the sensation; it almost feels comforting to me. Almost decadent.

My eyelids feel impossibly delicate, as if any sudden movement could potentially rip them open, and my limbs feel clunky and mechanical. I try to call for help but what escapes my mouth sounds like the hollow hum of an old engine.