Nobody
By my side
Ever.
Even those with
Unconditional love—
Nobody.
So envious of those who can keep them
Close.
I can’t, and I don’t know why.
“I’m no good, not okay. I can’t
Stay here. I’m too flawed to be
Here. Too much, not enough.”
I haven’t done enough.
I’ve taken too much.
I’m no good.
I need to get out of here.
Because I feel we can’t reach
Each other anymore.
“You’re awful for having
Made me feel this way.
I feel I’m awful too, always.”
What I feel is I can’t
Say anything, and
You can say everything.
I feel I’m always
Afraid to explode;
That I can’t have
My catharsis.
Because you will leave.
You will reject me.
“It’s me, it’s always my fault!
But is it your fault too? Yes, but no.
I guess it’s just me. Get me out of here.”
This story is part of a collection of poems, short stories and introspective diary entries, called “Grimoire of a Weird Person II”.